


Times Veronica Noticed Betty's Hands Habit

by M_Secret_Writings21



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/F, Fluff and Angst, mention of self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-10-23 06:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10714224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_Secret_Writings21/pseuds/M_Secret_Writings21
Summary: Veronica has noticed that habit of Betty's a few times and she always does something differet.-She wanted that for Betty, for Betty to get better.Veronica kept her word and tried to help her, to be by her side, from day one of their friendship.





	1. The try-outs

There was one thing about Betty that Veronica didn’t completely like, that one imperfection that somehow made her the one Veronica Lodge had asked for. Not perfect, perfect never, Betty hated that word and if Veronica commented about it she would say she hates it too, why?, because she was always portrayed like the perfect girl, with the perfect family and the perfect life when she was the opposite, she was a mean, toxic teenager with the criminal parents and the money over love kind of life, it was not perfect.

For Betty, her mother had always wanted her to be the perfect everything, daughter, sister, singer, lover, student… Every single thing you could add a perfect on, Betty had to be it. Somehow it ended up ruining her, turning her into the same anxious person that her mother was. Unable to get all her frustrations out she had developed a habit: Clenching her fist until her perfectly trimmed nails drew blood out of her palm.  
It all started at the age of 5 years old, when her mother told her that if she ever wanted to scream she had to make a fist so hard that it made the anger go away, so Betty did, but she kept doing it harder and harder each time until blood came out of her hands.   
When younger, she thought it was normal, after all her mother never said anything to stop it but years later, when she was 15 a very worried Archie told her that it could be named as “Self-Harm”.  
-I don’t use a razor so it is not it- she had told him before making a stupid excuse to leave. Archie never mentioned it again. She knew deep down he was right; she self harmed and she couldn’t stop, not now. She was addicted to the feeling, she felt like she deserved it. 

That was the habit that always made Veronica feel empty, useless, and unable to help her in any way. But she knew that crappy teenage illusion of “you saved me, thanks to you I stopped doing it” was fake, you can’t save a person who doesn’t want it, you can help them, be by their side, listen to them and hold them when they cry but that’s it, the other person had to save themselves. She wanted that for Betty, for Betty to get better.

Veronica kept her word and tried to help her, to be by her side, from day one of their friendship. 

-

The first time she noticed the unhealthy habit was on the try outs, after they kissed, her lip gloss all messed up, her heart still beating hard and the feeling of Betty’s lips still lingering on her own. Cheryl was currently screaming at the blonde, questioning her about her sister but even after all that mean speech Betty just said sorry as she slowly opened her hand breaking the hard fist she had moment before. 

It wasn’t the move that drove Veronica’s attention, it was that from the corner of her eye she saw some drops of red coming out of it, that’s when she turned her face to the side to take a good look at it. And she lost it.  
She’s not sure, until now, what the hell she said exactly or in what tone, all she knows is that her heart was pounding in her chest, her ears were ringing and that on the back of her mind she kept telling herself “You have to take care of those wounds” and “You need to make sure she is okay”.

After she had publicly humiliated Cheryl Blossom and both of them were accepted in the cheerleader squad, they walked outside the gym but instead of going to the locker room where they were supposed to grab their new uniforms, Veronica grabbed Betty’s wrist and without saying a word she pulled her towards the nearest bathroom and she closed the door behind them. Betty was standing there, in silence, next to the sinks, both hands on her sides making a strong fist again. Veronica felt cold all around her body when a small drop of blood fell from Betty’s hand to the ground.

-Oh my god, Betty please let me help you with that- she tried to take one of Betty’s hands on her own but the blonde flinched away so fast that it seemed kind of violent. Veronica looked up trying to meet her eyes but Betty was looking away. –I won’t judge you, or say a word if that makes you uncomfortable, just let me take care of this… I promise I will be as gentle as I can- she said in the softest voice possible, Betty locked eyes with her for a second, those green eyes were already tearing up but when the first tear drop feel down her face, Betty looked away but put her hands to the front so Veronica could heal them.

It was all in silence, none of them said anything for those 5 minutes that felt like 5 hours for both of them. First the grabbed a piece of paper and applied pressure to the wound until it stopped bleeding, it wasn’t too much blood but she had to stop it before cleaning. Then, she grabbed more paper, let it wet a little bit and started to clean Betty’s palms, slowly, trying to not touch the wound too much. Every now and then she would look up to check on the taller blonde, who had her eyes locked on her hands, looking kind of amazed nut still sad, as if it was the first time someone was doing this for her. Finally after everything was cleaned and dried properly, she took Betty’s hands, moved them closer to her face and closing her eyes, she kissed them on the knuckles, right between both hands. She just wanted to somehow show Betty that it was okay, that she was there and she would help her in any way she could. 

When she separated her lips from Betty’s hand, she tried again to lock eyes with the blonde, and this time she allowed it. Still holding her tears back, she mouthed “Thank you“ And Veronica gave her a sincere smile. 

They didn’t speak after it, even when Veronica walked Betty home, they were in silence but when they finally reached the main door of the Coopers and Veronica was about to turn around and leave, she felt slender fingers grabbing her wrist so she turned and she saw Betty looking down, at her feet, biting on her lower lip, nervous about what she was going to say next. –Thank you Veronica-   
It was simple and short but it made the raven haired girl smile, so this time she took the first step, to move closer, hug Betty and leave a kiss on her check before whispering. –You’re amazing Betty- then she broke the hug and walked away but before she left the Cooper’s front yard, she turned once again and smiled –I’ll be here tomorrow to walk you to school- she said.  
Betty smiled and bit her lip, she wish she had told her how much her actions helped her.


	2. The jacuzzi incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Betty! That is enough! Stop! It’s over! We did it, you did it!- A rush of words came out of her mouth, she didn’t mean to sound harsh but she was desperate and wanted it to stop and just let Chuck go and hope he doesn’t press charges. 
> 
> -
> 
> The fearless girl had discovered her biggest fear.

Veronica considered herself as a fearless girl. She wasn’t afraid of bungee jumping, in fact she had done it as a celebration of her 16th birthday, she wasn’t afraid of rollercoasters, she rode every one of them; never afraid of clowns or the dark, she even liked horror movies at the age of 3.  
Even when the cops took all away from her including her father, she walked out of that city with her head up, high hells, black purse and model-like serious face.  
But that night, it was different. It was real fear. 

 

It had all started with a devilish plan against Chuck Clayton, but she knew it all went downfall the moment Betty said –Don’t worry Ronnie, I’ll meet you there- but Veronica, being the trustful friend she was pushed the bad feeling on the back of her head.  
That was the first signal and she could have ended it.  
But she didn’t. 

Then there was the moment Betty walked into the room. Thankfully she was sitting down, feet in the Jacuzzi, because if she wasn’t she would have fallen down due to the shock. The blonde hair was gone, replaced by a black short wig, the end points of it slowly caressing her pale neck, which was gracefully decorated by a black chocker with a silvery thing. Her lips so red that even Cheryl would want that lipstick, her eyes had a strange look, so… dominating? Veronica guessed, she couldn’t handle the stare; she had to look down intimidated. And they weren’t light green, that moment she wasn’t even sure if they were blue, green or grey. Either way the feeling of electro shocks rising from the back of her neck to the end of her back and then all around her stomach made her realize something. This dark Betty turned her on.  
That wasn’t all. When she gazed down Betty’s body she noticed that sexy black lingerie, the top part of it made her boobs push up, making them look even bigger than normal. Then there was the skirt, starting from over her belly button and ending at the middle of her thighs, hugging her curves perfectly, it somehow gave the outfit a little bit for the imagination and finally those black high heels, with the clicking sound that echoed inside Veronica’s brain and made her boobs bounce up with every step she took. 

Veronica was sure that this was all part of the act and she had to keep her head cold to stay with the plan but she also is a young adult, with hormones and a lot of desires, so the scene made her body heat up and want nothing more than to pin Betty to the wall and kiss her senseless then do some more things to her until she screams her name. She couldn’t stay with the plan like that. 

That was the second signal and she could have ended it.  
Again, she didn’t.

 

Following that was the pill, Veronica saw Betty take a pill out and put its powder on Chuck’s drink. When she asked Betty about it even the blonde’s tone was lower, her words dragging a little, it was sexy, she couldn’t deny it.  
–Maybe we should slow it down a little - Veronica said trying really hard not to sound nervous  
-It’s fine….- The was Betty said. That, mixed with the look she gave her made Veronica weak to her knees and she had to hold on to the mini bar as she dropped her gaze again, unable to stand a stare with this dominatrix-like Betty.  
Now that she was looking down, she used this as an opportunity to eye her again, eating her with looks. Half scared, half turned on.  
That was the third signal and she could have ended it.  
She didn’t.

 

Now she was in a situation that she didn’t understand. Chuck was in the Jacuzzi, being almost drowned by Betty’s high heel on boiling water while she poured maple syrup on the top of his head. Betty’s voice had changed and she was calling herself as someone else.  
Veronica’s heart started beating harder and harder with every scream.  
-Betty! That is enough! Stop! It’s over! We did it, you did it!- A rush of words came out of her mouth, she didn’t mean to sound harsh but she was desperate and wanted it to stop and just let Chuck go and hope he doesn’t press charges.  
But when Betty’s eyes meet hers she noticed that the blonde was completely scared, she didn’t know what was going on, even her eyes had changed to the normal green color. And that is what worried her even more. 

-

Chuck left as soon as they got him out of the handcuffs, he ran, shirtless and completely wet away from the house and Ethel didn’t come to even thank them so they were completely alone. Betty was standing in the same spot since she came back to reality, as a statue, quite scary, but Veronica was cleaning the Jacuzzi as fast as she could before helping her friend.

She moved her eyes to check on her now and then but there was no sing of anything happening on her face then her gaze dropped and she noticed the fists. Those hard fists that were surely making her bleed by now. Veronica wanted to kick herself for being so dumb and forgetting about that important detail.

First she grabbed a white towel to wrap around Betty’s shoulder, her hands dropped slowly from her shoulders to her hands caressing her arms on the way down, trying to be as gentle as she could, then she tried to undo the fists but they were too tight, she kept trying, both fists of Betty’s on Veronica’s hand. Then the raven-haired girl looked up at her friend, the height difference being especially remarkable this time because while Betty was on heels, Veronica was shoeless.

-Hey B? it’s okay… I’m right here, I can help you but I need your cooperation- Veronica half whispered as she tried to catch those green eyes that were now full of tears.  
Betty didn’t say a word just undid her fists exposing a lot of blood and nails marks on then, really deep ones, Veronica gasped –You need to see a doctor I….-  
-No! Please just take me home, I can fix this- Betty’s voice was breaking and when she finished her sentence she gasped starting to cry. Veronica’s head was a mess in that moment, a bunch of options was popping up in her mind, what if she took he to the hospital, Betty got angry and never trusted her again? What if she didn’t took care of the wounds and Betty’s hand got infected? What if she took Betty home and out of rage she hurts herself more? No¡ she had to figure something out¡  
‘Come on Veronica, she needs you’ she kept screaming at herself.

-What if I take you to my home, my mom works on night shifts so she will arrive very late, you tell your mom we’re having a sleepover and then I can treat this wounds, I have a first aid kit at home and…- Again Veronica was interrupted by a gasp followed by Betty’s voice

-Just don’t leave me V-

That was all she needed to hear. They got out of Ethel’s place without saying goodbye or taking the alcohol they bought. 

-

At the Lodge’s apartment, they were inside Veronica’s room, locked; she didn’t want to risk her mother walking on them. Betty was at the edge of the bed and next to her was Veronica who was cleaning the wounds. She had taken care of the blood on her palms with the white towel that she used to cover Betty at Ethel’s house, maybe not the smartest decision because the red stains had ruined it but she was going to throw it away as soon as she could.  
They were in silence, Betty had stopped crying a while ago and Veronica didn’t quite know what to say that didn’t made the blonde feel worse about the strange situation. So she kept cleaning in silence, staring at the soft skin of her hands she was working on and trying hard not to cry because those marks will probably stay forever on Betty’s palms.

-I know what I did, I remember – Betty said in a whisper, Veronica was shocked and tried to lock eyes but again Betty was evading her –I….I sometimes can’t control my actions. You know? I feel this ….rage…. inside of me and some days it just comes out….. I’m so sorry Veronica-

-It’s all right, sometimes we can’t deal with the anger, it has happened to me- she stopped talking to throw a ball of cotton stained in red to the trashcan and grabbing a new one as well as a pair of bandages to cover the hands. –I will be here for you, when you need to get all that rage out… you can talk to me, you can dig your nails in my skin… you can scream at me or even punch me if you want to but I don’t want you to do this to yourself again- Veronica knew this wasn’t exactly the best choose of words but she didn’t know how to explain herself, she just wanted Betty to throw that rage at her because at least she deserved it and Betty was a sweetheart, she didn’t deserve the pain. –What I mean is that….-

-I will never hurt you like that V- Betty said while Veronica was wrapping the bandage around her hand. When she was done with that hand, Betty raised it to caress the side of the shorter girl hand, Veronica’s eyes met Betty’s with a little bit of confusion –Thank you for staying here even when you know about this and thank you for not just ignoring it, like Archie or my mother… thank you for making me talk about it but I think that it is okay for today, I want to lie down and rest- 

-You can sleep right here, I’ll be on the sofa….- Veronica was nervous, she didn’t know what would make the blonde uncomfortable 

-I want to lay with you… I want to hug you-

No more words needed, Veronica gave her some of her own pajamas, looking extremely short on the blonde but the tightness of it made Veronica’s skin burn a little with desire. 

All lights off, just the moonlight coming from the big window of the left of the room.  
Betty on the left of the bed, Veronica on the right and both facing the other in a sweet silence, words spoken with their eyes. Until Betty’s hand came in contact with the latina’s skin, soft fingers followed by the fabric of the white bandage covering her hand, Veronica closed her eyes with a deep sigh.  
-Thank you for this all…- Betty said slowly, words dragging at the end of it –I don’t know what I would do without you- green eyes gazed down to Veronica’s lips and both of their hearts started pumping hard, remembering their second encounter in the cheers try outs. Veronica wanted to lean in so bad that it almost hurt her but she also knew this wasn’t the right moment. Betty was vulnerable and she couldn’t take advantage of it. 

-Same goes for you Betts, you make me real happy- she spoke as their faces became closer and both of their eyes stayed on the others. She might have seen a little bit of frighten in those green eyes she loved so much.

In a quick move, Betty’s chin went up and instead of kissing her lips she kissed her forehead, a little bit longer than it should be while Veronica’s head was in the crook of the taller girl’s neck, eyes closed and pressing her lips a little to her neck.  
They both wanted that kiss but both of them knew it wasn’t okay, not just yet.

 

That night they didn’t move, Betty’s head stayed over the shorter girl’s head and Veronica kept her lips pressed to her neck, leaving ghost kisses until both fell asleep on the other arms. 

The next morning, Betty woke up earlier that Veronica and left the fancy apartment to go to her own house and pretend nothing had happened a night before. 

Veronica cried in the shower the night of that same day. The fearless girl had discovered her biggest fear: Betty leaving her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Leave a comment and I'll answer it as soon as possible. Tell me any ideas you want to incorporate in this story, I would love that. 
> 
> Remember english is not my first language so bare with me please.


	3. The one that went wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year of therapy had gone to the trashcan with that simple phrase and Veronica didn’t care.
> 
> -
> 
> This one contains mention of eating disorders as well as depression. It is a very important chapter that will define this story.

Betty had predicted that in a week Veronica would barely wave at her while walking down the halls towards class. She wasn’t right but she wasn’t wrong neither. Betty was the one pushing her away.   
It started with her joining the blue and gold newspaper of Riverdale High, Veronica found it amazing because Betty’s hidden passion was journalism and she was so good that she could make a living out of it ,just like her parents, she supported her and encouraged her to invite Jughead who also was in love with writing.  
The first week Betty called every night to tell her about it, about her investigation and about working with ‘Juggy’ as she likes to call him. On Friday of that week she may have called him ‘cute’ in different occasions. Veronica didn’t think it was anything bad.

But a few weeks later she wasn’t answering her calls and left her messages on seen. It was bothering Veronica a lot, she had just found out some things about her father, mother and family secrets. She was broken and needed Betty’s wise words… Betty wasn’t there.

‘Maybe she’s busy Veronica, you are not the only one with problems’ She kept telling herself trying to push every bad feeling to the back of her mind.  
This method worked for a month, until she found out that Betty and Jughead were dating and she broke down. 

The sleepless night started and the crying in the shower continued. She drank two cups of coffee every morning and had to apply so much concealer to cover up the black bags under her eyes that she had to order 3 new ones from Sephora just to be sure she didn’t run out of it. At school, her grades dropped drastically and she blamed her father’s issues for it when the Math teacher asked about it.   
To say she was in a funk wasn’t true, she knew it was a depression.

She had suffered from it once, back then when she was still living in New York and studied at Spence. She was the queen bee that everyone feared but also the one who always had to be perfect enough. It was toxic and she tried a bunch of unhealthy ways to be ‘perfect’.   
The moment she found herself on her knees puking her breakfast in the toilet before school she knew it wasn’t okay. So she spoke to the school’s therapist who agreed to treat her until she felt better. The treatment lasted a year.  
Veronica knew it was a sickness that never truly went away but that could be treated; still, she refused to acknowledge it because the year of therapy had passed and she should be cured. So two months after being relised from therapy, she stopped taking and buying her meds. She never went back to the therapist office until she had to get some papers for the transfer to Riverdale High. 

She was feeling the same as that long year, she was showing the same symptoms and she was scared big time. She couldn’t just tell her mom, she had so much on her plate and adding weekly therapies sounded selfish to Veronica. So she decided to try one more time with Betty.

It was currently 3 am on a Saturday; there was no way that Betty was busy, so she called. It rang once…. Twice…. And at the third she picked up.   
-Veronica? What is going on? Are you hurt? Or drunk?- The blonde’s voice was a little bit grumpy but still worried and very, very deep, that was her morning voice and deep down Veronica was a sucker for it. 

-I’m…I’m not hurt…Can we meet up? I need to talk to you; in private- she said that at the end to make sure no teenage boy with dark hair and a stupid hat showed up. 

-It’s 3 am V, I can’t just leave- Betty said. Veronica knew it was true but if you asked her she would as well leave town at whatever hour if it were for Betty.

-Shit! Sorry… I know, my bad. I just… and-

-Hey! You’re rambling. It is okay V. What if I go to your place first thing tomorrow and I bring breakfast? Does that sound okay?- Betty offered

-Yes! I’ll be waiting Betty. Sorry for waking you up again-

-

Another sleepless night for the young Lodge, not even a 30 minutes nap. But at 7 she thought it was a good hour to start off her day, going straight to her kitchen to make herself the first cup of coffee so she could look somehow alive when Betty arrived.

At 9 Betty came with breakfast from a local restaurant, it wasn’t Pops, it was a small place, kind of a hipster coffee that a bunch of guys started after graduating from Riverdale High, not the best place to buy lunch but their breakfast were specially delicious, so for Veronica the food choose was amazing.  
The breakfast went off very well, none of them mentioning the call from earlier that day. Betty kept talking about the murder investigation and Jughead as if those were the only subjects she knew about.   
‘Where is the Betty from months ago who could talk about anything’ Veronica thought while giving the blonde the best smile she could and try to look as if she wasn’t bored. 

After cleaning the table they went straight to Veronica’s room, both ready to talk. It started okay, slow even, but when Betty told her to go straight to the point because she had to meet Jughead later that day, Veronica got angry.

-I miss you. I’ve had a shitty couple of days and I feel as if you don’t give a fuck about me anymore. I need someone to talk to and honestly you’re the only person who I truly trust not only in this town but in this world.- A pretty strong argument from Veronica and everything was true

-I am sorry I haven’t been able to be there for you, but you’re not the only one with problems, you know? I’ve had a lot of those lately and you weren’t there neither- Betty said standing up from the bed, arms crossed over her chest and that spark on her eyes that only came when she was angry. 

Veronica regretted even calling her in the first place. 

-You shut me out! I’ve tried to call you and text you! I went to your house a couple of times and your mother shut the door in my face!- Veronica stood up too, tears already forming in her eyes.

-I’ve been with my BOYFRIEND, he’s there when no one else is and he at least listens to me-

-I want to listen and help you with your problems, I’ve have done that from day one that we met, why can’t you do the same from me?- Veronica pointed at her chest while pronouncing the end of her sentence, Betty shook her head slowly, side to side ,and sighed

-I never asked for that so….- She regretted the words at the moment they came out

-What?- said Veronica in tears 

-NO¡ I didn’t meant that! It came out wrong. I’m so sorry…..- This time was Veronica who interrupted. 

-Get out of my house- She commanded.

Betty’s hands turned into a fist, Veronica saw and started worrying but she had to act harsh, so she blinked and tried to look away. 

-Let me explain V-

-GET OUT ELIZABETH- maybe it was the scream that even Smithers heard or it was the fact that she had used the full name but Betty jumped scared and walked really fast to the door. 

It went in slow motion for both of them, Betty’s fist opened so she could grab her white bag from the floor, she was already bleeding so much and it stained the place where she grabbed the bag. Veronica gasped but she didn’t move. Then Betty started walking incredibly fast, almost running away from her, tears on her eyes as well as in Veronica´s whose mascara was all over her checks now, she regretted not using the waterproof one.   
Her heartbeat was so strong and fast, beating in sync to every step Betty took.  
She wanted to act strong and be the one who had the last word but her best friend was bleeding, she had hurt herself thanks to her and the blonde was the one weak point inside Veronica’s heart.

-STOP- Veronica screamed just before Betty put her hand on the handler of the door to leave the apartment –Don’t you fucking move- her voice was tired, sad and anxious. Both were confused about what had just happened but also both felt relief.

Veronica disappeared back inside her room and came out moments later with a red first-aid kit. With loud, fast steps she went to the dining room area and took a sit on one of the chairs. She didn’t have to say anything; it was all-explicit in her look. Betty lowered her head and walked towards her. Ashamed. 

-Veronica…I-

-Shut up, I’m not happy with you right now but that doesn’t mean I’m not fucking worried- She claimed as she opened the red box, making a loud thud when the front cover of it hit against the crystal table. The raven-haired girl mumbled things under her breath the whole time she treated Betty’s wounds. Some times she even groaned at herself.  
On the other hand, Betty kept her eyes glued to every move Veronica made but careful to avoid her gaze or even gasp when the alcohol-covered cotton cleaned the open cut. 

Veronica finished wrapping the last bandage in 20 minutes. In silence she stood up from the chair, went straight to her room and slammed the door, not looking back and Betty.  
The blonde knew she had to leave, that she had done enough; still, she tried one more time. Walking towards the big door of Veronica’s room. She banged twice and expected an answer that never came, so she dropped her gaze, bit her lip as a nervous habit and said –I’m sorry. I truly am, I fucked up. I want to be there for you V… would you let me in please?-

But Veronica didn’t answer, instead from inside the room the sound of water came, meaning Veronica had gone to take a shower, which was weird taking into consideration it was morning and she had already put on makeup. But Betty understood and she left the house, looking at the floor and tearing.  
She went straight to see Jughead.

-

Inside the white luxury bathroom was Veronica, sitting on the floor against the wall while the shower went on, she was completely dressed with no intention of getting in, she had only done it just so Betty wouldn’t hear her cry, she was pathetic. 

With all the will she had left, she stood up, closed the taps so the water would stop running and stared at her reflection for a while.

-You really are pathetic fat-ass- she told herself with disgust on her expression.   
A year of therapy had gone to the trashcan with that simple phrase and Veronica didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think. This story might take a deep turn, i like drama, what can I say.
> 
> English is not my first language so bare with me
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	4. The time we said sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She gives herself a sorry look. She’s back into this old life, she knows there is no turning back. But she accepts it because she feels like she deserves it."

The day after the fight, Veronica held onto her anger, kept her head up and walked around the corridors of the high school as if she was the queen of the country and everywhere she walked was made of pure gold. She was broken inside, wanting to cry at every moment of the day but outside she was a like a goddess reborn. Every face turned to look at her specially a particular blonde who was very sorry with the last day events. 

Betty was freaking out, following Veronica around but never getting an answer or even a simple look. That day the young Lodge was an ice queen.

While on the lunch break Archie noticed the strong tension and offered going to Pop’s for dinner to talk it out. –You’re never like this guys, you’re best friends and maybe we all need to put our feelings on the table and discuss it out, what you think? You in?- The redhead said looking back and forth from Betty to Veronica.   
Jughead agreed and took the hand of his girlfriend, Betty agreed after that. Veronica looked at her untouched plate of food, then up at Archie and nodded her head saying yes, after that she stood up, left the plate full of food and left. Betty couldn’t get the courage to follow her.

-

-It’s almost 10 Archie, she’s not coming. Can’t we leave now?- Jughead said with an arrogant tone, one arm around his girlfriend and with the other hand he held an empty cup that had chocolate milkshake. 

-She’s not like this Jug, I don’t know what happened- Archie said, brown furrowed and serous voice but the black haired guy let out a small laugh full of amusement.

-You talk about her as if she had been part of our whole lives, keep in mind she just arrived this year, we don’t know her at all and honestly I like being here with you than adding her to the group. This is the way things should be- As always the boy kept a monotone voice, as if he has one constant feeling of boredom and anger. 

After hearing this Betty pushed his arm away and stood up, she was the only one hurt here because she was the reason veronica hadn’t show up and to add those harsh words made it worse. Jughead was giving her a ‘What are you doing’ look, so she took money out of her back pocket, placed it angrily over the table and said –I might know her from less time but I know how she is because she opens up to me, something you can’t brag about doing Juggy. Something happened and I’m going to see what is”  
And she left the restaurant.

-

Ten minutes into walking towards the Lodge’s apartment, she regretted not taking her car and having Archie drive her. The night was cold and now, since Jason’s murder, quite scary. But she felt as if she deserved it and also her head was full of things, things to say and ways to ask forgiven. Creating scenarios of things Veronica could say out of anger and how she would react to them but neither of them making any sense because maybe Jughead was right and she didn’t know her at all. 

 

When she finally made it to the building, Smithers smiled in a form of gretting and let her in. She guessed Hermione was in the building too and that was correct because when she reached the apartment and rang the bell the door was opened by the latina mother. 

-Betty¡ what a surprise. I’m guessing you’re here to see Veronica- Hermione said and Betty nodded as she walked into the house –She’s in her room darling. Hopefully you can get her to finish her dinner, she said she wasn’t feeling right- After that she pointed to the door and left Betty on her own while she took her iPad and walked towards her own room.

Betty sighed, took 3 deep breaths to then knock on the door. Softly first but a little bit harder after the first two knocks –It…It’s Betty- she said with shaky voice.  
A noise of someone moving inside the room was heard. Veronica opened the door.  
She had a full face of makeup but she was wearing pajamas, which meant that she HAD the intention of going to Pop’s but for whatever reason she didn’t do it. Inside her room there were clothes laying all around, it was a mess. Betty had never seen the room that way, it was always clean and classy. –I was worried; you didn’t show up at Pop’s-

-I couldn’t find an outfit. I wanted a black skirt and I couldn’t find it- Veronica said as she moved away from the door letting the blonde in and she started taking her clothes and putting them inside her closet as a way to distract herself from the fact that she was obviously lying.

-Your mom also said you were feeling sick-

-Oh- Veronica said surprised, clearly she had forgotten about that other lie – Oh yeah, for sure. I was feeling sick-

-Since you no longer look sick, how about you finish your dinner and we talk and then I help you clean your room? –

-Oh no no no Betty¡- She stopped hanging clothes in her closet and walked towards the blonde –A cold dinner is not my thing, plus I had a big lunch earlier- 

Betty was taken aback by the sudden change of emotion, she was totally avoiding the real reason why she hadn’t gone to the restaurant and she acted as if the morning hadn’t happened. As if things were okay between them but they weren’t, things were unspoken and Betty needed to let it all out. So she put her hands on the shorter girl’s arms and looked at her straight in the eye. –Veronica, we have to talk about this-  
It was as if Veronica’s soul came back into her body and she composed herself –You’re right. I am sorry. Let’s sit down on the floor because my bed is full of clothes-

 

That’s how it started. Betty said ‘I’m Sorry’ first but Veronica said it back and they talked about the feelings on that moment. Truths were coming out and Veronica admitted she doesn’t like Jughead at all but maybe it is because she doesn’t even know him. At some point Betty’s nails dug into her palms without her realizing so Veronica took her hands in hers and softly made them lock hands so Betty couldn’t hurt herself.

The talk ended midnight so Betty ended up staying over, Hermione made her toasts for dinner but didn’t get Ronnie to eat any.   
-I swear mom, I finished what I had left from earlier- Veronica lied. Betty looked down to the ground ashamed of being part of the lie, she knew Veronica had throw it into the garbage but she didn’t say anything, it wasn’t a big deal, maybe she wasn’t hungry.

 

-

It was 3 am in the morning when Veronica stood up from her bed. Betty was completely asleep, she couldn’t help but staring, her blonde hair all over the pillow finally free from that high ponytail and her face was completely relaxed. She looked like an actual angel. That made Veronica smile.

But she shook her head; she wasn’t up just to stare creepily at her friend, so she went to the bathroom.   
Back to the routine that one of her friends taught her back there in New York. –Just wait for them to fall asleep and then you can do all the measurements in peace, but never throw up at the middle of the night because if they wake up you’re going to have trouble- Those words coming from a girl taller than her, skinnier than her and looking like she was about to die every second of the day.   
Veronica never followed all of her advice but only some of them like waking up in the middle of the night to do the things she has to.

Right now, looking at herself in the mirror, she takes out a measuring tape from the cabinet and stares at it for a long while, telling herself she doesn’t have to go back into his awful habit she created. She doesn’t have to go back into hating herself. She is beautiful and she has to remember it.   
But her sad self is stronger than her will, so she starts measuring her stomach… then her arms… then her legs, she writes it all down in a pink small notebook.

While doing it, she catches herself looking into her own eyes through the mirror; she gives herself a sorry look. She’s back into this old life, she knows there is no turning back. But she accepts it because she feels like she deserves it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking this long to update. I've been rewriting this over and over again. There are a lot of ways I can make this sotry go and I had to choose one.  
> Thanks for reading. Tell me what you think.
> 
> By the way, I wrote a very short Flaritza fanfic, if you're an OITNB fan, you're probably going to like it. Read it if you want.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how many chapters of these I'll make but don't worry, this is a series of chapters that you can read in any order and it won't affect the plot. Remember English is not my first leanguage so please bare with me, I'll get better evntually.  
> Leave a comment if you want


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